Robert Benchley – 12 Quotes

12 Quotes by Robert Benchley

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

– Robert Benchley

I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.

– Robert Benchley

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

– Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.

– Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

– Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

– Robert Benchley

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

– Robert Benchley

Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

– Robert Benchley

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

– Robert Benchley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

– Robert Benchley

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

– Robert Benchley

In America there are two classes of travel – first class, and with children.

– Robert Benchley