Bill Maher – 18 Quotes

18 Quotes by Bill Maher

Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’

– Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

– Bill Maher

Freedom isn’t free. It shouldn’t be a bragging point that ‘Oh, I don’t get involved in politics,’ as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn’t insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

– Bill Maher

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

– Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

– Bill Maher

Let’s face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

– Bill Maher

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.

– Bill Maher

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

– Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

– Bill Maher

Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

– Bill Maher

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don’t know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, ‘I’ve got one question: What color is the red phone?’

– Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the ‘will of the people’ goes out the window.

– Bill Maher

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

– Bill Maher

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

– Bill Maher

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

– Bill Maher

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.

– Bill Maher

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who’s your real friend? It’s the person who tells you the truth. That’s who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.

– Bill Maher

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

– Bill Maher